Joke Of The Days N Nights

Instead of deleting or moving this topic, share a laugh by posting one of your jokes here...Midnight Jokes shall be PM'ed to mature members only...

There is one rule: Please don't turn this into a discussion/chatting forum...Share jokes only!!! You may comment on a hilarious joke by adding it to your piece of joke...

Jokes start here:-

Who says I dont exercise?

I jump to conclusions, drag my feet, throw my weight around, strech the truth, bend the rules, go around in circles and push my luck!

Old women used to pinch me at marriages, telling me, "You are next!". They stopped doing so when I did the same at funerals.

Mine isn't really funny, but however:
There was a shop that was such a dump, they even had a sign on the door saying: "SORRY we're open".

Hamadah, that certainly was a PJ.

A blonde bought a banana from a fruit shop and ate it on spot, but waited for some minutes after that. The fruit vendor out of curiosity asked her, "What are you waiting for?". The Blonde replied, "A refill...".

A man caught his wife in an affair with an other man. He decided to kill her and himself. When he saw his wife after he picked up the gun, he said, "Don't laugh, you're next!".

A happy family were having dinner. The son asked his father, "Dad, are worms good to eat?". His father got furios. Mom said "You shall not say such words while eating!". Dad, in an angry voice then said, "Why did you ask such a question?". Son replied, "Nevermind, You just ate it!".

What does a donkey do in the middle of the road with a ball? Make some id**t think.

In a round road, for some reasons car keep making laps around it but they find it hard to leave, why? Because there is a h*m* watching.

EDIT For the second one to be funny you have to draw the round road in your hand with your fingers then ask the question.

HAHA....ArchDuke you got that dirty!!!

A drunkard goes to the doctor to get rid of his addiction to alcohol. He says, "Doctor, can me of my whiskey problem?". Doctor confidently agrees. The Drunkard replies, "Good, the police has my 50 crates!".